Watch “Choose” Movie
Directed by a first-timer (Marcus Graves) who will certainly move on to better flicks, and written by two guys who should probably turn out better material (well, they wrote Dragonfly, anyway), Choose was slapped together with just enough nastiness and “edge” to fill a 90-second trailer. The film itself is as lazy, obvious, and tiresome as retreads get.
As you may know by now, I’m a big fan of the horror movie mash-up. If, for example, someone wants to combine Godzilla and The Blair Witch Project into one new-fangled yet old-fashioned genre cocktail, you can be sure to find me at the box office. (The resulting film was Cloverfield, by the way.) Unfortunately, more often than not, the “let’s smash horror movie X into horror movie Y” impulse is governed not by creativity or enthusiasm, but by plain old simplistic greed. Case in point: the truly generic Choose, which mixes horror-style kills and network-level procedural junk into one ungainly concoction.
Choose is about a crazed killer who makes his victims “choose” something horrific before killing them. A gorgeous model must choose between her eyesight or her face, and then she’s burned to a crisp anyway. A pianist much chooses between death and the loss of all his fingers, and then both happen anyway.